Adrian, to be able to create something so wonderful while in so much pain is quite amazing. Searching for happiness while in so much despair must have been so difficult. But look what you accomplished. You created a platform for writers to help themselves through writing. And you gave readers a chance to hone their skills as well. It takes work to reach a state of happiness. No one knows that better than you. Your journey is inspiring and speaks to the human potential to heal.
What I realized when I lost my mother and lost all contact with my daughter (you can read more about it in my piece A Hierarchy of Loss) is that these women belonged with me but not to me. I view them as honored guests in my life. Or I do my best to. It’s not easy. I am selfish. I want more of what they gave me.