I am reading all of these responses and I am surprised. A good marriage is one where two people find acceptance, alignment, emotional safety, and where each person’s major needs are met, not all the time, but on a regular basis. If you find that you cannot be yourself in a relationship — that you refrain from speaking about your passions and refrain from using the right amount of toilet paper (for you), well, that’s an issue that goes deep and might not have a solution other than to set the other person free. That toilet paper image just got to me…. there is something so degrading about being told that you are incapable of deciding how many sheets to use.