I couldn’t agree more. I read many books on the subject and I am sorry to say that so many write about their estranged children as if they never wanted to have contact with them ever again burning bridges left and right and seemingly exploiting the situation. One author, with a large online support network, even made fun of her son in a way I thought was so inappropriate. So sad. Why do we have to assign blame either way? Self-awareness is great and necessary but to blame our child or ourselves seldom leads to true healing.
Speaking to others about these things is difficult. Because I am afraid that they will either view my child as being the bad guy (which she is not) or us as being unfit parents. I am so sad that our daughter has decided to cut all ties with her family but this is less about me hurting and more about me worrying about her. I have learned to look beyond my own ego. Like you wrote in an earlier piece, our children don’t owe us anything. But do I worry? Yes, day in and day out. Thanks for this piece, Beth!