Oh Vicki, I am so sorry you too had to go through this. It is so very difficult. And I would hope that I was the only one with this experience.
I am trying my best to compartmentalize my life. I have my sadness in one area and my happiness in another. It is possible to be sad and happy at the same time but you and I both know that the price we pay for this up or down, back and forth kind of life can be very acidic on your soul.
Thank you so much for your kind response. Please know you are not alone. I am here if you ever feel the need to talk. You can reach me through my profile page.