This piece was so moving. I agree with you one hundred percent! Pain is hard and pain should be hard. Optimism can be unhealthy if applied for the wrong reason and at the wrong time. Optimism should be an ointment meant to heal, not a cover-up for the infection that grief is. I too am an optimist when I can. But I’m a realist when I have to be.
I hope you are on your way to feeling less pain now. The waves will always come over you but will become gentler with time. Let it take time. Thank you for sharing your story.